Meet the Outrageous Suzy Q!

I’m a woman of a certain age. I have the advantage of the experience of my accumulated years. People in my age range will probably under-stand what I’m writing about. All you whipper-snappers may think I’m offensive and inappropriate. Guess what? I don’t give a flying fuck if you think I’m crazy rude. I say what I think. I am who I am and I don’t try to be anyone or anything different.



Probably Not!

Let’s clear up this “offensive” and “inappropriate” thing right off the bat. What the hell has happened to our society? I was brought up in a time when I was not even allowed to say the word “pregnant.” If I even thought about in-ter-course how a girl gets pregnant,  I would risk getting my brain washed out with soap. That is, if that were possible. When I was young, I was absolutely sure my father could figure out some way to get that soup into my skull and clean up all those impure thoughts. Young ladies just didn’t think about stuff like that… or so my parents said. Somehow, I knew instinctively that being a lady would not be as much fun as the alternative.

Those of us who grew up in that era pushed forward to create an atmosphere where sex and all things related to sex became open to the world. People kissed and maybe even fondled in public. Being intimate with your partner was not a subject that must be hidden away as though it were an act worthy of hanging. We put up with the sideways glances and frowns from the older generation. We swam against the moral tide and ended up on a less restrictive beach. Now it seems all that defiance was for nothing.

I saw a television talk show that was discussing the “new boundaries” of today’s society. Oh my goodness! What in the world? They were saying that we all must learn these new boundaries. It is no longer acceptable for a man to make a pass at a woman or vice versa. It seems that one sex cannot compliment the other on anything regarding physical appearance, the clothes they have chosen, or body language. It now takes a disclaimer and release form signed by both parties before one can tell the other “Hey… I’m interested in you and would like to get to know you so we can eventually perform coitus in a private place.” That’s just sad.

To make matters worse, people are being ridiculed for actions that took place back when the boundaries had not changed. These people were just doing what they thought was OK to do. Can society really say that these people should have looked into their crystal ball and seen that in the future their behavior would not be acceptable so they better not go with the flow at that time in the past? What is the statue of limitations on bad behavior or just doing what comes naturally?

When I was growing up, girls were taught about the dangers of men on the prowl. I was taught to beware of the words coming out of his mouth because they won’t always match his actions. Then I had the choice to listen or not. I had the choice to accept his advances or decline. If I said no and he did not stop, then I had the choice to leave his sight. I didn’t sit there and whine about how he had invaded the acceptable moral boundary line of my personal space. In my case, if I couldn’t just walk away, a simple kick in the shins or hard punch to his sternum or even a knee to his nuts, would always end the unwanted conversation.

There was once a time when I could walk up to a good-looking guy and just say… “Wanna get it on?” He could either accept or reject. Neither would fear that a law suit or public humiliation would follow. Oh sure, there was the possibility of pregnancy or a nasty little disease, but that was only if you were not careful. The thought of keeping count of how many men I had ka-noodled with never was on my radar. It was a time of free-love and experience of all the pleasures that era had to offer. It may have been the pendulum swinging in the opposite extreme. I’m OK with that.

Now, in our current time frame, I’m left with “What the Fuck?” (You’ll will find that Suzy Q has a lot of “what the fuck” moments.) It appears that our society has taken a giant step backwards towards puritanism. The pendulum may have swung so far back in the opposite direction that it has flown right off the meter. Dating and the process of finding Mr. or Ms Right is going to take a much longer route and be far more boring. Ho-Hummm

I’m glad I’m unmarried. And at my age and considering this post, I’m going to be unmarried for the rest of my life. But I doubt if it will be because I’m basically an inappropriate person -- which I firmly acknowledge that I am. It will be because there are so many men and so little time and I am not going to digress to the current level of social politeness.

Suzy Q says – make love not war and have a fuckin’ good time doing it.


Who keeps who?

My children are my children even after they become adults… or senior citizens. A child is a child forever. But, when do we stop treating adult children as though they are still minors in need of complete support.

I know a few people who financially support their grown kids because they don’t seem to be able to get or keep a job. Those kids usually live in the same house as the parent, using the facilities, groceries, and all the other comforts of home. They usually have cell phones, laptops or tablets, which are also most likely supplied by the parent. In short, they are being treated like spoiled, privileged brats at the expense of people who probably can’t afford them.

Let’s not put all the blame on the kids…

What the flying fuck!! Is it not our responsibility as parents to teach our children to live a life of independence separate from the parents? Do we think if we don’t provide for them in all ways, that they will no longer love us or be our child? When do we STOP owing our children whatever they demand from us.

I started working at the age of 14 when I cut apricots in the summer. It was hard work for little pay. Each apricot had to be cut along the seam line, pit removed and placed on a large wooden tray. The tray was placed into a drying vault. In the end the result would be dried apricots. The pay was based on the weight of the pits. At the end of the summer I received one check for the whole summer’s work.

My father worked sun-up to sun-down and only took three holidays off. He taught all of his kids the value of a strong work ethic and to this day we stand by that ethic.

So what happened? Why do some of our children, my father’s grandchildren, think it is OK to live off their parents rather than aspire to gainful employment? I’m not saying ALL grandchildren do it, but they exist in my family as I believe they do in other families. Did those parents fail to instill that work ethic in those children? In one family of four – two children work like crazy and two are lazy leaches.

I know a mother who managed her son’s checkbook until he was in his mid-20’s. She monitored his spending and told him when she thought he had screwed up. Well… at least he was working and trying to be independent. But the Mom couldn’t stand not keeping him her baby.

Personally, I have a rule of thumb. If my child is striving to improve his/her life and there is a marked increase in independence, I will help them to a point. I will not buy them a car, but I might pay the light bill. I will not pay for the baby-sitter so they can take a vacation, but I will pay for the sitter that keeps them at their job – occasionally. However, I will NOT jeopardize my own health or comfort to meet their needs. My children would not ask that of me so I will never have to face that choice.

However, I know children who put their own needs ahead of an ailing parent and simply take what they want. To them Suzy Q says: What the flying fuck is wrong with you? Grow up. Get a job. Be responsible for yourself. Parents have a right to NOT give you a damn cent. They also have a right to give to you whatever they want. Be adult enough to DECLINE the offer. It’s the right thing to do.


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What The Flying Fuck Are You Talking About

I don’t know when, as a society, we became so time-conscious that we shorten words down to a bunch of letters crammed together instead of speaking them out loud. IJDGI, or ‘I Just Don’t Get It’, that we have to create all these mis-mashed words that can’t be pronounced. I don’t find these little snippets of letters to be very helpful.

With the creation of text messaging we have created a whole new language that I am hard pressed to understand. I’d consider taking a class on learning acronyms, but I don’t see it in any of the class catalogs that I’ve perused.

What the flying fuck! Does it really take longer to say ‘By the Way’ than to say BTW? I guess the point is that it uses fewer letters so it’s easier to type. That’s fine but I type with my brain rather than my fingers. When typing, my fingers are simply and extension of my brain. They do what my brain tells them to do. My brain says “Fingers type ‘talk to you later’,” so it types ‘talk to you later’. It doesn’t type TTYL. Shortening phrases down to little snippets of letters feels un-natural to me. I have to think about it when I’m typing and that action alone uses my valuable time.

Admittedly, I am old-school. I learned to type in high school on a manual typewriter and didn’t pass the class unless the student could achieve a word-per-minute (WPM) count of 60. That was tough on a typewriter that required you to hit a return at the end of every line.

I see youngsters’ texting on their phones using only a couple of fingers. They seem to be very adept at getting up to speed. I have to hunt and peck each letter. It’s slow. I’m better off just phoning the person and using my voice to convey what I want to say. However, I have managed to master the OK. I can whip right through that statement. Don’t know what it’s an acronym for, but it’s worked my whole life so it’s OK. I’m proud to say I’ve also mastered LOL, the acronym for ‘laugh out loud’.

I don’t like acronyms. I don’t like texting. I don’t like messaging. I don’t like anything that keeps me from being able to write in a clear concise manner. Like, I said… I’m old school.

That being said, Suzy Q says… HAGD while ROTFL and I’ll TTYL BBIAB because you are IMO PHAT so SYL!